What’s has been on your mind these days?
I’m having a show at a gallery with all of my iphone photos, opening somewhere the coming 3 months. So my big task the passed week has been: bringing down roughly 10.000 images to 150 and actually it needs to become even less. Also my computer position hasn’t been correct, so my arm, shoulder and hands have been hurting a lot, so today and yesterday I did some swimming to get rid of the RSI-fear.
Your images can sometimes come off as provocative, especially referring to those that show your naked self. Do you ever feel vulnerable, being so public within in the public?
Not really. Somehow nakedness doesn’t bother me so much. I don’t feel that feeling that some people have, that it scares them if people know what they look like naked. It doesn't scare me so much and so far it hasn’t changed anything in my direct life. Also, when I take the pictures myself it’s less scary because I can choose what and how things are shown.
If I feel vulnerable about self-portraits; it’s usually more about the fact that I’m scared that people will find me vain or annoying. Often when I follow somebody on insta that I don’t know personally, I can get so tired of them and their posts or their look or something. Then I really want to unfollow right away. And the idea that people can have that same feeling about me, scares me a bit.
But I guess you are vain. And so is everybody else who participates within this circle. I, take pictures of my body, too. After posting them, I often ask myself what I want with sharing these kind of images with the public. I guess the innate desire to feel wanted is always there, even when it’s not. But there’s something else. Do you want a specific reaction from your audience? Yeah, I think I want my audience to want me, but then it does have to be on my conditions of what is desirable and not on somebody else's.
Let me see if I can describe how the pictures came about: First of all, I like to look at people and myself. I’ve got a deep visual interest: I like clothes, fabrics, colors, I like to dress up, create certain types, settings or situations and play with expectations that those settings can create. Next to that, ‘sexyness’ and the idea of being wanted also intrigues me a lot. I think selfies are a way to combine my visual and social interests and playfully investigate the idea of people wanting you and you wanting that.
Is it one of human’s biggest validations, to be wanted and desired by others? Is this very thought perhaps one of the most relevant, underlying subjects in your work?
I feel a bit reluctant to make statements about by most pursued subject, but it’s true that it’s something that interests me a lot :P
interview LARA KONRAD